Car Statements: What Type of Statement Does Your Car Make?

Acura 3.2TL - My car has been mistaken for a UFO at night.

Acura Integra - I have always wanted to own the Buick of sports cars.

Acura Integra - Got any spare coffee cans?

Acura Legendary - I'm too bland for German cars.

Acura NSX - I am impotent.

Acura NSX - I drive a poor man's Ferrari.

AM General Hummer - For what I lack in cubic inches, I make up for in size.

AMC Gremlin - I could only afford three-fourths of a Hornet.

AMC Marlin - My father wouldn' t buy me a Camaro.

Audi 90 - I enjoy putting out engine fires

Audi 80 - I thought the 4000s was too fast.

Austin-Healey 3000 - I can put raw meat on the transmission hump and have a well-done steak by the time I arrive anywhere.

Buick Park Avenue - I am older than 34 of the 50 states.

Buick Electra - Hey, it's 30-year old technology. But it's GOOD 30-year old technology.

Buick Reatta - I like ugly, impractical, boring cars.

Cadillac Cimarron - I am stupid enough to pay extra money for an uglified Chevrolet.

Cadillac Eldorado - I am a very good Mary Kay salesman.

Cadillac Seville - I pimp hoes and tricks.

Chevrolet Camaro - My head rattles almost as badly as my car.

Chevrolet Chevette - My insurance payment is higher than my car payment.

Chevrolet Corvette - I'm in a mid-life crisis.

Chevrolet El Camino - I am leading a militia to overthrow the government.

Chevrolet Impalla - I took 2nd place at the 22nd Annual Southern California Low Rider Contest

Chevrolet Monte Carlo- The old man's sports car, "Watch out I might hit 50mph!"

Chevrolet Yukon - I am on a first name basis with my mechanic.

Chrysler Cordoba - I dig the rich Corinthian leather.

Datsun 280Z - I have a kilo of cocaine in my wheel well.

Dodge Charger - Reliable is boring. My car is exciting.

Dodge Caravan - My child can beat up your honor student.

Dodge Dart - I teach third grade special education and I voted for Eisenhower.

Dodge Viper - For what I lack in size, I make up in cubic inches.

Ford Mustang - I slow down to 85 in school zones.

Ford Mustang - Traction? We don't need no stinkin' traction!

Ford Crown Victoria - I enjoy having people slow to 55mph and change lanes when I pull up behind them.

Ford Expedition- I enjoy spending $50 on gas every two days.

Ford Expedition- I run over tree huggers.

Ford Taurus - Sure it's ugly as sin, but it's a Ford.

Geo Tracker - I haven't tried to make any emergency lane changes yet.

GM EV1 - I created the EPA's ten most wanted list.

Honda del Sol - I have always said, half a convertible is better than no convertible at all.

Honda Civic - I have bad credit or no credit at all.

Honda Civic - Complete mint condition interior for sale.

Honda Accord - I lack any originality and am basically a lemming.

Infiniti Q45 - I am a physician with 17 malpractice suits pending.

Isuzu Impulse - I do not give a rip about J.D. Power or his reports.

Isuzu Rodeo - I like my Rodeos sunny side up.

Jaguar XJ6 - I can afford $60,000 for a car that is in the shop 280 days per year.

Jeep Wrangler - I am fiercely independent, just like all my friends with Jeeps.

Jeep Wrangler - I am fortunate not to have rolled my jeep, unlike all my friends with Jeeps.

Kia Sephia - I learned nothing from the failure of Daihatsu.

Lotus Esprit - Ever pay $2000 for a tune up? I do.

Lincoln Town Car - I live for bingo and covered dish suppers.

Mercedes SL500 - I play a major league sport.

Mercedes A-Class - I yield at all moose crossings.

Mercedes M-Class - I only paid $3,000 above sticker for mine.

Mazda Miata - I do not fear being decapitated by an eighteen-wheeler.

MGB - I am dating a mechanic.

Mitsubishi Diamante - I don't know what it means either.

Mitsubishi Eclipse GSX- Replacement for displacement I shatter domestic V8's

Mitsubishi Eclipse GSX- No need for a V8 I rather be blown!

Nissan 300ZX - Sure it's slow, but Stillen makes a great spoiler!

Oldsmobile Cutlass - I just stole this car and I'm going to make a fortune off the parts.

Oldsmobile Eighty-Eight - My car comes with a Depends first aid kit and and bingo card holder.

Peugeot 505 Diesel - I am on the EPA's Ten Most Wanted List.

Plymouth Fury - I like driving an air-conditioned sofa that can carry your car in my trunk as a spare.

Plymouth Neon - Screw Civics, I own a REAL car.

Pontiac GTO- I tell people I own a GTO and I do not correct them when they say "Wow a Ferrari!"

Porsche 944 - I am dating big haired women that otherwise would be inaccessible to me.

Renault 2CV - I think your car is ugly too.

Rolls Royce Silver Shadow - I think Pat Buchanan is a tad too liberal.

Subaru Legacy - I have always wanted a Japanese car even more inferior than Isuzu.

Triumph TR6 - I am an amateur mechanic who enjoys a challenge.

Toyota Camry - I am still in the closet.

Toyota Supra - I use my spoiler to dry my laundry.

Volkswagon Beetle - I still watch Partridge Family reruns.

Volkswagon Cabriolet - I am out of the closet.

VW Jetta - I stopped smoking pot when I got a real job after college. I swear.

Volkswagon Microbus - If this van's a rockin' don't come a knockin'.

Volvo 740 Wagon - My wife is a moving road hazard so I bought her this car.

Volvo 240 - Other drivers are unsafe. Let me go ahead and pull out in front of this guy to slow him down

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